Friday, November 11, 2011

Forget Black Friday, I'm ready for Cyber Monday!

I hate Black Friday. I haven't gone near a mall on Black Friday in at least a decade and now make a point of staying home on that day. There is no deal on Earth that's attractive enough to me to make me go out into a crush of shoppers so hell-bent on getting a good deal on the trendy toy of the year or the must-have gift of the year that they're willing to show up at a store at 3:00 AM or trample their fellow shoppers in order to get it.

It seems like the word "Door Buster" starts to appear in the newspaper ads and commercials earlier and earlier every year, and I cringe a little whenever I hear it, knowing that it means all the shopping centers are now going to start getting progressively more crowded, traffic progressively worse and I'm going to get progressively less willing to deal with the whole thing.

Since having kids, I have devised a sort of currency to determine whether I'm going to go to a brick-and-mortar store to get something, or whether I'm just going to order it online. That currency is Pain in the Ass. How much of a pain in my ass is it to go drive to a store to get a particular thing? I estimate that buckling one kid, buckling the other kid, driving to the destination, unbuckling one kid, unbuckling the other kid and then either putting them in the stroller or carrying them into the store is worth at least $6 of shipping, particularly when you figure in the cost of gas. If I can find free shipping for something, there's absolutely no way I'm going out to get that item.

So I'm skipping Black Friday entirely once again this year and stocking up on necessities so I don't even have to go out that day. I'm going to ignore the whole thing and wait for Cyber Monday, so I can happily sit in the comfort of my home in my sparkly pink star pajamas and get great deals on all my favorite stuff, completely avoiding any unnecessary pain in the ass.
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